![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
procrastination
I am so so blocked on this essay. I have a 70 word intro, and that's all I've managed in the last two days. And a possible structure. The thing is, I totally know what I want to say! I just can't get my brain to stay focussed long enough to get any words on the page!
Less whining, most posting.
This afternoon, I went to the supermarket to buy foodstuffs. My mum had eye surgery last Friday, so dad and I are alternating house duties like cooking at the moment. Mum dropped some heavy hints about wanting potato salad with her meal tonight (I made spaghetti to go with some pre-marinated beef strips) but I hate making mayo based salads so I decided to cheat.
At the deli counter, the guy serving behind the counter - tall, Asian, bespectacled with a buzzcut - dashed over and asked what I wanted. I was on autopilot from work, so I was still rocking a smile (the best defence anyone can have in the service industry, seriously), and when I asked for a tub of potato salad he massively overfilled it. And whacked a price sticker on it that was about half the price it should've been. And said, "Wow this is really cheap." *long silent glance at me*
Thank you?
When I got to the checkout, the guy at the till stared at the overflowing container, and the bag boy whispered to him, sotte voce, "Dude overfilled that tub." They both gave me a long stare, puzzled.
This is why I hate being aware of being a girl sometimes. Did I get more salad for less all because I smiled extra bright at the man at the counter? Should I feel bad for it? I didn't ask him to! But he did it anyway. I don't think we should be evaluated on gender or attractiveness, for better or for worse. But I know that it happens, and I know I am most aware of it when I've just received some benefit I didn't dangle for. I hate it when, for the slightest moment, I'm pleased it happens. I also hate it when it makes me wonder, for that same short moment, if I should try to be 'girlier' because it would probably make my life easier.
Ugh. I know, overthinking. *sigh*
Less whining, most posting.
This afternoon, I went to the supermarket to buy foodstuffs. My mum had eye surgery last Friday, so dad and I are alternating house duties like cooking at the moment. Mum dropped some heavy hints about wanting potato salad with her meal tonight (I made spaghetti to go with some pre-marinated beef strips) but I hate making mayo based salads so I decided to cheat.
At the deli counter, the guy serving behind the counter - tall, Asian, bespectacled with a buzzcut - dashed over and asked what I wanted. I was on autopilot from work, so I was still rocking a smile (the best defence anyone can have in the service industry, seriously), and when I asked for a tub of potato salad he massively overfilled it. And whacked a price sticker on it that was about half the price it should've been. And said, "Wow this is really cheap." *long silent glance at me*
Thank you?
When I got to the checkout, the guy at the till stared at the overflowing container, and the bag boy whispered to him, sotte voce, "Dude overfilled that tub." They both gave me a long stare, puzzled.
This is why I hate being aware of being a girl sometimes. Did I get more salad for less all because I smiled extra bright at the man at the counter? Should I feel bad for it? I didn't ask him to! But he did it anyway. I don't think we should be evaluated on gender or attractiveness, for better or for worse. But I know that it happens, and I know I am most aware of it when I've just received some benefit I didn't dangle for. I hate it when, for the slightest moment, I'm pleased it happens. I also hate it when it makes me wonder, for that same short moment, if I should try to be 'girlier' because it would probably make my life easier.
Ugh. I know, overthinking. *sigh*
(Anonymous)